


Spamano Hearts: Antonio's POV

by Vodka112



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-02
Updated: 2012-01-02
Packaged: 2019-06-28 23:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15717510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vodka112/pseuds/Vodka112
Summary: In a world where your heart is visible, would you be vulnerable enough to show your own?Ventures into Antonio's point of view.





	Spamano Hearts: Antonio's POV

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Spamano Hearts](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/407313) by Kousagi7Yami. 



> Complementary reading for Spamano Hearts by [~Kousagi7Yami](https://kousagi7yami.deviantart.com/). Crossposted from DeviantArt. Lightly edited.

Red. Red, like blood? No, he'd seen blood, shed it from others and from himself. This is a different sort of red. Kind of like…

"Just like a tomato," Lovino unceremoniously stated.

"Yeah, just like that!" Antonio replied with vigor in his high pitched voice. It was his heart they were talking about after all.

"The color is really amazing. You should see it!" Antonio said while he lifted the football jersey that covered his tomato-red heart.

The gesture was followed by a furious blush from Lovino and a couple or so gasps from his curious buddies, probably followed by a few more _oohs_ and _aaahs_ from the curious girls craning their necks from the table opposite theirs. Not that he really looked, or cared even. He stared straight into Lovino's hazel eyes and smiled brightly into them.

"Don't you want to eat it?" He asked nicely. He was answered with an extremely strong jab at his abdomen…

Antonio yelled something between a scream and a curse and bent over his stomach to relieve the pain when he realized he was still in his pajamas, under the covers and safety of his bed. He unrolled the blanket off of him and found his alarm clock saying-

" _Mierda_! I'm going to be late!"

  
It wasn't the first time he dreamt of Lovino from when they were young. Well, younger than they were by a good three or four years. It was the day his heart first showed color. That morning, the boring transparency morphed to something dark pink then to red. His heart matured just a year ahead of Lovino's. He remembered with joy how Lovino would sneak up into his room at night just to ask him to show his heart, or how Lovino said he wanted to know how he got it to be that perfect shade of red, or how Lovino wished with all his might that he could have a heart like Antonio's. Those were the happiest moments of his life.

However, Lovino stopped coming over the moment his own heart changed color. Antonio had to ask Feliciano to do the most subtle and evil plan just to get Lovino to talk to him again: a plan that inevitably left Lovino too hungry one lunch hour to accept one of Antonio's homegrown tomatoes. Though he didn't expect Gilbert to exclaim how Romano looked like a tomato. (It was the trio's, aka Antonio's, private joke after all!) It was scary how Francis tried to chuckle his way out of that mess. Afterwards, any chance of Lovino falling in love with him was at an all time low for the next couple of decades.

As if finding out that Lovino's heart color was green wasn't hard enough. All he had to do for that, really, was to ask Feliciano, but he never saw Lovino's heart at all! It didn't help that he forgot he bought Lovino the tanned coat to cover his heart up. Antonio ran a finger through his heart and felt the huge crack in it. Just a little bit more. It seemed unfair that Lovino didn't return the gesture by letting Antonio see his heart., even just a little peek. He never even got to know with his bare eyes if the pattern of the breakage in their hearts were the same. Even with just seeing a tiny bit of the color, he'd be a happy man.

Of course, he knew Lovino didn't exactly have the grace of a _social butterfly_. If anything, he had the mouth of (with the lack of a better term) a festering fish tank. He called Antonio lots of names. Although, Lovino's favorite was most likely 'tomato bastard.' Antonio could live with that. He had dealt with it since he moved to the US so why couldn't he endure it now? He tried not to blush as he recalled how Lovino graciously and appreciatively ate the tomato he grew in his own backyard, the same tomato from the plant that he showered with lots of the left-over love he carried, and the way Lovino moved his lips into a smirk, his tongue…

He felt his cheeks burn and had to use both his hands to cover his face. Lovino was just too cute and he really did look like a tomato!

Antonio received a very sharp kick from behind his leg. He glanced angrily at Francis, who was seated behind him. Francis made funny mouth movements that Antonio couldn't understand.

"Francis, that's enough. Don't even try to weasel your friend out of this or I'll give you both detention enough to make the soccer club cry."

Dragged back into reality, Antonio firmly stood up and faced their Math teacher, a pretty lady already quite well in her years. Her half-hollowed heart showed proudly above her suit; a doubtless ploy to incite fear and loneliness in the hearts of her unbroken or unpaired students. He stood quite still. If she meant what she said about the soccer club, he might land himself in deep shi- _detention_ for the rest of the year, making it impossible to play for the team during the approaching season. She pointed her hand toward the board and indicated a Math problem. A complex one.

"Answer this using the formula we just discussed."

 _Mierda_. He wasn't listening to her lecture for the whole – and he risks a glance at the clock – _10 minutes?!_ What could she have possibly managed to teach the class in ten minutes?!

The moment he opened his mouth to complain, he felt something move from his clothes and go _Tink! Tump! Tink!_ He looked down and saw a red piece of something swivel around on top of his desk before stopping with a quiet _tump_. He smiled and looked up at the teacher.

"My heart just broke!"

He expected the tidal wave of emotions to crash through him, like how Francis described the breaking. Francis lied. It was nothing close to a tidal wave. It was a tsunami. He felt like he was engulfed, drowning as sudden coldness washed over him. Underwater. He couldn't see a thing and he could vaguely hear.

"Oh dear, an unlucky one…" said a swirl of a figure in his vision. The next moment, a pair of hands pushed him down to something. He sat with abandon and bowed his head. He couldn't make out his own legs, but he could feel some sort of wetness dripping on them. Was he crying?

He tried to wipe his tears but he couldn't make them stop. Where was Lovino? He couldn't find him. He could vaguely make out Gilbert, Francis, their teacher and a few concerned classmates. What he wanted was to see Lovino. He needed Lovino, right now. He couldn't live without him.

But that should be wrong. Lovino would be in History class in a different room, in a different floor and in a different grade. Antonio would run up to him and hug him once lunch time comes. They had spent the years like that, to be separated for hours and only to meet during breaks or when he could run into Lovino while moving from class to class. Why was he so desperate to see him anyway? Why would he need him so much? Why did he expect him to come? Why did he feel like all he ever wanted was to be touched by Lovino?

He managed to take deep breaths with Francis' help. It seemed like he was being dragged out of the room by his two best friends, probably to the nurse's office.

"I-I'm fine…" He managed to gasp out. Even his voice sounded weird, as if he was choking on something pretty big. He could barely talk.

He spent the hours in the school clinic. Every sound seemed to buzz in his ears. It hurt. Not just the sounds or the swirling shapes caused by his eyes. Every second felt like an eternity. He ached to see Lovino, the hurt manifesting itself into hands that tore at his heart. He cried and cowered like a child, having thrown the pillow over his head to further muffle the sounds he was making.

When he woke up, he saw Gilbert and Francis on either side of the bed. Gilbert let out a sigh of relief.

"Man! Don't let the awesome me get freaked out like that!"

" _Mon cher ami_ , are you okay?"

He let out a weak chuckle and a lame excuse to go home. The nurse gave him a pass as well as the other half of his broken heart.

  
Nobody could accompany him. Not that he wanted company. His heart throbbed with a dull ache. He felt unbearably alone.

He walked down the street just across the block from the school, right next to Lovino and Feliciano's house. His hands slid, touching the smooth part of half his heart. Over and over and over. How he wished he could climb to Lovino's room and confess to him right there and then. He lifted a foot towards the Vargas' home and suddenly forced himself to go to his original destination.

That was an insane idea. Lovino would be at school, studying, playing, eating, talking, laughing, breathing…

That night, he had nightmares worse than when his heart suddenly cracked a bit during his sleep. These black and white images and scenes preyed on his mind. That Lovino said he didn't like him. That Lovino liked someone he doesn't know about. That Lovino liked someone he does recognize. That Lovino's heart didn't break. That Lovino's half-heart belonged to somebody else. That Lovino hated him and his red heart with an endless passion. He hated that dream the most.

He would wake up drenched in sweat and tears and with a throbbing pain in the hollow half of his heart. He doubted if he got a wink of sleep at all. He remembered saying, " _I hope it's Lovi, it can only be Lovi, nobody else. I love only him, I promised myself that_ ," in his sleep. In those dreams, nobody believed him. Not even Francis or Gilbert. Like a never-ending chant he said the same thing over and over, hoping to wake up. If he didn't, he might just die.

He curled into a ball and tried to sleep. He wished Lovino sneaked into his room like he used to do. He wished it so much that could feel the ghost of Lovino's hands touching him. Just let this hurt stop. Anything. Just. Let. It. Stop.

  
The next day, he thought a lot about the possibilities of his broken heart. Now that he was somewhat more rational, he thought about how his piece of heart might fit Lovino and how it might not. There was also the possibility of Lovino's heart remaining whole. After all, Lovino had done his very best to avoid Antonio. The last possibility might be true after all.

Antonio arrived earlier than usual and headed to the lockers. It was a precautionary measure. He just can't imagine looking at Lovino right now. He located his locker, opened it and deposited his bag loudly. The dull throbbing pain in his heart didn't go away. Perhaps because he actually didn't get any sleep last night…

"O-oi! Antonio!"

He turned towards the voice and came face to face with Lovino. He was unusually sunny and good-tempered this early in the morning. But, honestly, why won't the throbbing in Antonio's chest stop?

Lovino's face suddenly dipped into one of anxiety and concern. "You look like crap…"

"Heh… I feel like it too…" Antonio grumbled. This was like dangling a carrot in front of a horse- No, make that a starving horse…

"No…wait… I feel worse than that." Antonio grunted as he rested his forehead against his locker. "My heart broke yesterday."

There he said it. Now he has to wait-

"Mine too."

His head snapped toward Lovino, who promptly removed his coat. Antonio can't help but be amazed at the forest green half-heart. It looked beautiful on Lovino. The more Antonio looked at it, the more it dawned on him. He stood straight and timidly showed his tomato-red half-heart. He didn't need to look at it. He continued to stare at Lovino's green half. It was broken the exact same way.

He couldn't say it. How could he say it? It hurt. It hurt a lot. The pain couldn't be worse than yesterday's, could it?

"Lovi…" Antonio sighed, "I know you don't like me…" 

He thought hard how to phrase his words. Especially when he knew he would hurt himself a lot.

"So, if you don't want to give me your piece, or take mine, that's fine. I just-"

"Tomato bastard."

Lovino's voice broke through thoughts he couldn't muster the courage to complete.

" _¿Si?_ " he awkwardly said.

" _Bésame._ "

He blinked and stared hard at Lovino. _Bésame_. Kiss me. In Spanish. _Lovi's got to be joking._

He didn't think. Antonio closed the distance between the two of them and held onto Lovino's shoulders. He could feel Lovino's flesh and bone. This Lovino was solid and quite real. Antonio wasn't dreaming and Lovino wasn't joking about the kiss either…

As if it was the most natural thing to do, Antonio pressed his lips on Lovino's. They reminded him a bit of pasta and tomato sauce. He wanted to devour him. He wanted to leave him. He wanted Lovino to be _his_. He wanted to run away and never come back. He didn't care about any of those thoughts at all…

Antonio heard something click somewhere near his chest and instantaneously, his whole being was reawakened. Warmth flooded through him and chased away the loneliness. Lovino hugged him tighter.

"I never said I hated you, bastard," he heard Lovino grumble from somewhere near his neck.

He never have felt lighter. All of his fears disappeared into thin air. He felt like air itself. How could he even think of Lovino leaving him? How could he ever think that Lovino hated him? He felt so stupid but he couldn't stop smiling. He had never felt so much happiness in his life.

It would be a crime not to share this overwhelming happiness. Antonio pulled back and faced Lovino.

"Oh, Lovi! You love me?" he asked.

"I-I never said that either!" Lovino stuttered while blushing.

He laughed. He actually laughed. He still felt idiotic to be so scared of this. He held up his piece.

" _¡Porque te amo demasiado!_ " he said and kissed Lovino, all the while fitting his red half-heart into the hollow on Lovino's chest. _Click_. He felt Lovino yield to the sensation. He thought he could watch Lovino flutter those eyes and open those lips forever. Not a moment later, Lovino opened his eyes and hungrily sought out Antonio's mouth.

"I love you, Antonio… Tomato bastard…"

That was the last straw Antonio could take before he stared hard at those hazel eyes and begin passionately ravaging Lovino's lips.


End file.
